Being overwhelmed is something that has permeated our lives. Paralysis and inaction are the outcomes you might or not know caused by it. This same blog has been the victim of unnecessary expectations, built up inside of my head without a reason which prevented it from seeing the light. I find it important to remind myself that those expectations, those that nobody actually wanted, are not “real”.

Nobody cares. And the few who do will be supportive.

Every now and then, I sporadically wake up from the routine of life. I know it didn’t use to be so rare… but it has sadly become so. I might be in the middle of my commute sitting in the tram, or maybe I am just zoning out in the middle of a discussion. I then look around and wonder how people can just exist in such a focused state of autopilot. Of course, I find myself most of the time in the same state. And I also understand, wondering is a kind of privilege not everyone has.

But even if you can’t afford to devote a fraction of your time to yourself, how can someone not be suddenly assaulted by the feeling of being overwhelmed about everything?

A human life is known to be short compared to most things. It’s clear to us we can’t do everything. And it’s probably what gives meaning to our lives if anything does. Death, if you will, is the biggest drive of humanity. Ambition is fueled by how ephemeral our (concious) stay in this land is.

And it’s blatantly obvious as stated by the “gurus” of our era, that you have to make it count. Time flies and every day should be lived like it’s your last day.

But how is this possible when you’re oppressed by a flood of inputs, obligations and decisions to take?

We have built a machine where we are uncapable of being happy. But we keep pushing because there is no choice. A big mass of population are sleeping, driven by questionable moral, or just in such a fucked up situation they can’t stop for a second to make judgements.

We have normalized suffering and disasters to a point where exhaustion surpasses empathy. Being hyperconnected inevitably has lead people to either filtering out more and more, or becoming incapacitated by emotions, in the best of cases.

The leaders of masses, which are no longer individuals who were democratically elected, but instead are people who have taken advantage of the machine we inhabit, will never complain in an honest manner. They provide us with the drugs we need to stay asleep and satisfied. And we’re too sedated to move a finger.

Some might scream, but, you know, I’m rather comfy in this cloudy bubble of cotton.

It even gets worse. The ones who don’t play deaf, and try to respond to the crying of others are mocked for being oversensitive to things that aren’t real. We definitely are the slaves that enslave themselves. We hold the power to break the cycle, but instead choose to use it to become the new leader. We only complain about stuff when it’s us who are in danger, and otherwise choose to play along in this game of appearances and shallow existence.

And so I wonder, sitting in the tram, what is this man with a suitcase and perfect hairstyle, tie and shoes thinking about right now. Does he ever cry at night thinking about the people that are dying of Cancer? Does he ever think if speculating with tons of money, ends up fucking up the business of a poor family that heavily relies on the income of a single person to eat? Does he ever feel undeserving of what he owns? Undeserving of being in such a privileged position against a person who can’t walk anymore?

I sometimes wish I didn’t care about anything. It’d make surfing through life easier for sure. But then again, why would I want to surf the waves without effort? It would become meaningless in the same way that an endless life would be. Thus, we spiral back to doing the right things, and then again comes the pressure of not being enough, of not being at the right place at the right time, of not being who you are meant to be.

At this stage, the prospects are not really looking good. Maybe it’s at this point when we choose to ignore all source of pain and focus on the now and here. Focus on maximizing our local environment at the expense of the rest which we don’t see or care about. It’s easier to neglect the world and focus on one’s satisfaction. And I’m not excluding myself from any of this discussion, I am a part of this perpetuating shameful system.

But since life is so short, who in their sanity would choose to be critical with themselves and try to work towards a better future, when they’re not gonna be part of it? Is this an inherent problem to the brevity of life?

Only the ones who really feel the pain are caring, but they’re already in the unfair position in the system, so they can’t really help themselves. It’s up to you, the priviliged person who spends their time with irrelevant matters, to come to the rescue. But what’s in it for you? Empathy would help here, but not everybody’s having so much of that these days… We’re radicalized by the powers in the shadows, pushed against each other and incentivized to shut our mouth with all possible money-based rewards a mind can imagine.

The only thing left that can save us is that little seed inside of each and every one of us that contains the universal moral values. That naivety that we all have before society shapes our minds, bodies and habits. Some people need harder punches than others to make that little spirit come to live again. The toughest ones might need a hard life lesson or maybe seeing close people ceasing to smile… However, I believe there is a way to light again that spark for each and every one of us.

And that, may be the true and difficult mission of the people who wake up. To endure the pressure of a collective that pushes you to be sterile, at the same time that you try to water those little seeds, with care, and live your life in the most decent and human way possible.

8800 km away from everything you know, there is a land that resembles nothing you have seen before. But do not take this statement in a frivolous way. Imagine the colossal dimension of Tokyo-3, with buildings that go beyond what the human eye can see. A showcase of what humankind is capable of. A vast sea of cement taming the effervescent nature that grows in every corner we have spared. A scenery where the ancient and the future meet.

Except it’s not the future but definitely the present.

The excellence of “the natural” colliding with the toxicity of what men made. Conforming a new homogeneous medium where amazing and disturbing things are born alike. A place where our prowess can reach the stars while it sinks our souls.

Or is it so?

Sometimes I find myself wondering if our future is to anihilate our differences, and become a hive mind. Focus our endless distributed power on a single goal, and push forward. Ripping the barriers of space and time away, and expanding through every dimension in unimaginable ways for the simple (individual) minds we possess now.

But that’s basically removing the thing that makes us special. Our diverse cultures, languages, history and heritage. Is it worth to become a machine with the ultimate purpose of expanding? What will we bring to the other worlds we conquer? A dull blanket of cold-hearted mechanisms of self replication? One could argue that we are now a warm and inefficient organism spreading through rudimentary mechanisms of reproduction too. What good does that bring to anything?

None of this matters though. Some people have already decided for you. Maybe without realizing themselves, but they think that we need to bring whatever it is that we are to other planets. We have to bring wars and capitalism, and this huge income disparity to Mars and wherever we can reach. But one here is optimistic: we won’t make it to anywhere if we don’t get our shit together. A fractioned humankind cannot push through the large amount of obstacles that separate us from the stars we so badly want to touch.

The most likely outcome, before we unite in one voice, is that we’ll have to endure a severe crisis to realise that.

But maybe once we have reached this state, we can spread a vibrant and beautiful painting through many galaxies, while our time lasts in this infinite story. Maybe we can bring misteries in the form of relics to future civilizations, and be their seed even if they never get to meet us. Or perhaps, it’s not so sad after all if we manage to coexist in this planet as a sustainable part of it and never manage to leave it.

There are many possibilities for us to thrive without having to assert any dominance. It is all about how we face what is in front of us and what choices we make with what we have.

We are no more and no less than a part of this universe. We’ll eventually perish and become the soil for other things to be. What we do with our time is what ultimately matters and should occupy our thoughts and time.

There is no point in trying to trascend because we are and will always be a part of everything no matter what we do.